+My way of living+

Dunearn Military Band--GOLD! [we made it!]

2005-04-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

A good band makes good music at the same time has a very strong bonding towards everyone in the band. Although we got a gold for this yr syf central judging..i find that yihui was right. Our band's bonding are not strong enough to quailify for this gold, the music we play..does it bond from the hardwork together as a band? maybe some members in the band are quailified for this gold only..definity not me. i wasn bond to my section as well as the band. when they announce that we got a gold..i just felt happy and nth else..i didn felt that my hardwork pays off..coz i didn put in all my best effort..i feel that this gold doesn belongs to me afterall. But whatever it is..the whole band are happy with the results. Hope dmb will continue to work hard and get another gold for the next syf..hopefully both the bonding and the music are quailify for the whatever medal they get in yr 2007. Its time to concentrate on my studies and wish all my classmate luckz for the n level coming up.^-^

singapore conference hall-syf soundcheck.

2005-04-02T17:23:00.000+08:00

hey~i am finally back to write another blog again!haha.well my laptop space bar spoilt and i had just recently download internet to my computer. that's why now i am back. haha. well last night the band went to the singapore conference hall for syf soundcheck. and halfway in the bus. i felt very sick. and the heat resulted tears filling up in my eyes. when reaching..i was crying(dont know becoz of what).the teachers took my temperature and found out that i had a high fever of 38+. but after a while. i was fine again. so i joined the band into the concert hall for soundcheck. was really sorry to cause so much trouble to the band and the teachers. but i really had a enjoyable night yesterday in singapore conference hall. the feeling of playing in the concert hall was so great. i had waited for about 1 yr playing in the concert hall since last yr we didn had our dunearnite band performance. after the soundcheck. when we reached our school at about 1130pm. it was quite late. and police car went petrolling ard as they went into our sch to check. ms ong asked everyone to go home. and she brought me home as i was not feeling well. i was very sorry to troubled her. now i was feeling much better then last night. i will take care as syf is just ard the corner. i hope the whole band will take care too as i can see that many ppl are falling sick. and i felt sorry for farhani as she hurt her lip and nose and she cant participate in the syf this year. but i know we wont waste her effort as i promised her that we will bring a gold back!

i am backie~

2005-02-25T00:13:00.000+08:00

woO~ so tired. but much more happier then be4. dun know becoz of what. forgetting a person can be so easy if your determination is strong enough. and now. i have done it! well? finally? haha~ shld celebrate? lol~ at least i am not doing the stupid thing tat i normally did last time and not making anyone feel annoyed anymore. juz being myself. feel what i feel. do what i wish. life is juz so free if you think freely. haa. crap~ dun know why suddenly everyone said tat dey had read my blog. feel kinda paisehz? lol~ aiyo. if u guys read my blog dun act dao leh. go tag me leh. haha..hm. now its getting abit too "early". yar definity. its 12.20am now. argh! i go slp le~

absend again.

2005-02-23T22:15:00.000+08:00

2day morning woke up late then resulted me to be late for sch. this is my third time late if i went to sch 2day. and next week is my common test week. so i decided to save this last chance for my exam period in case i am late again. so. i am back home. haha. hm. was spending my whole morning doing homework that has not been done. now at least most of it was done. next week exam. totally not prepared at all. thought 2day is the day for me to revise and do finish whatever thingy that had not been done for so long. i hope i can get it all done by 2day. hm. tml got band practice. zzz. farhani was injured. heard that justin throw the chair at her on last week practices which i did not turn up. and now. she is having a broken leg. so whats now? problem after problem. wonder when will it come to an ending? was finally getting myself cleard of what is my goal. and what am i going to do. haiz. juz realise i had been wasting my time not studying for so long. lol. and now i am still wasting. zzz. hoho. n level is near and so is syf~ dont have confidence in this syf. lol~ milo ar milo. juz ran away 2day afternoon. we tried to catch him but he ran too fast. in the end milo go coffee shop find my papa. and my papa bring him home. haiz. milo ar milo. why go bite my kor until so jialat? if not we could have keep you as our favourite pet. but now. my kor dont like milo le. haiz. i oso dont know what to do. hm. one more impt thing. he is back from hospital le. hope that he will take care of himself. hm..so i gtg study my chinese le~

bad day.

2005-02-20T23:52:00.000+08:00

haiz. receive a bad bad bad news. he go hospital becoz of accident. haiz. i shall not disturb him le ba. juz feel tat i am really a burden to him. i choose to leave him. choose to disappear in his life forever to exchange to make him more happy. this way. he wont be disturb by me every night beside for the morning call thingy i nid to ask him. i will juz be his alarm clock ba. tats all. maybe next time i saw him. he will be happier. i really hope so. i wish the gal he had been waiting for will ask him to stop smoking. this way. i think then he will really stop smoking ba. plz..give him the best. hm..well. hope he will soon be discharge from hospital and take care too. okie. tats all for 2nite.

was i wrong?

2005-02-19T20:38:00.000+08:00

well. cant take back my $20 from my father. he said he got no money to return me. i was so fed up. den i said "why you everytime drag and drag and drag?" then he say after 2 days then return me. haiz. i doubt two days after will he really return me. i think the answer is no. coz i waited for many "2 days later" from him liao. and its still the same. when my father saw my so call "bu shuang" expression. then he ask what the hell i want. he said "starting to dislike me le huh? 2 days later return you cannot ar?" then i nth to say le. wth. really hate it. although $20 is rather a small amount. but. i dont know why i just want it back from him right away. just dont feel like lending him money. maybe i am a bad daughter. but. he will use my money to buy beers for himself. i really hate it. haiz. nvm. but at least he still bother to buy food for us to eat during dinner time. suan le ba. maybe i was wrong too. anyway. 2day got band. and still muz thanx for jing jing for morning call me early in the morning. if not i would have been late until very jialat again liao. but 2day i still late abit. haha. and jing jing late! zzz. she called me then she went back to slp den in the end she late. lol. she power ar. hm. cant believe it. 3 more practices left with mrs chua only. and 5 more weeks later is our syf! aiyo. jialat. hm..so after band 2day accompany jessica to sim lim square to buy her computer thingy. then after that we went shopping a while. then went to her hse put her computer thingy. then we go to lot1 take neo print. haha. rather waste money. but just for the fun of it. hope jess enjoyed herself 2day ba. hm. so think tats all about 2day le. *sian ar*

exam coming soon in one week time. -.-

2005-02-18T19:07:00.000+08:00

heyie. tired tired. haha. 2day not a bad day. but i started off with a bad morning of slacking-ness which causes me unable to wake up on time again. 2day got physics test. and i almost all questions dont know how to do. haha. die ar. ca1 exam coming in a week time. and i dont know anything. my chinese wb haven submit to my cher yet. think really die liao. haha. hm. 2day yu xian, christina, mazuin and chew mui come my house. hope they had a fun time. lol. den dey use my laptop den play the organ. rather sian oso. haha. but there is nth to do oso liao. dont know why i feel much better 2day. haha. at least much more happier than few days back. all thanx to my fren for cheering me up with the lame jokes. aiyo. really got to study hard liao. 2day just found out that my N level cost $328! so expensive. i think got to take fiancial form from cher liao. but oso can use GIRO. not sure my mum can use or not. haha. nvm ba. hm. so nth much abt 2day. and. be4 i realise. syf is coming!! oh ya! 2day is nyp band concert! yi hui is playing solo! gosh! wish her all the luck! i really wish to go for the concert. but. haiz. nvm ba. think next time ba. okie then. end here liao~ =P

small action means alot to me. becoz of tat. i lose you.

2005-02-16T21:27:00.000+08:00

i think i know. why there is such a big difference between us in the past compare to now. i had lose you. its not your fault. but its my fault. i thought i had cherish you. but in the end what makes you more fed up is that you cant stand my sensitive-ness. you think that whenever i am with you. i wont be happy. i will complain alot. i will nag at you. but do you think i feel unhappy being with you? u are wrong if you think this way. i am sensitive. very sensitive. every small action from you can mean really alot to me. wheather did i misunderstanding. i really dun know. thats what lead me to confusion. there is no answer from you to my question. my most simple question seems so difficult to you. you seems to be avoiding answering. thats why i wont be able to know how you think, how you feel. thats what lead me to sadness. i hate the feeling. but from what i feel now. i cant see you here anymore. you are far away from me. wheather did you really care about me anymore. i dun know. but i still care alot about you. i just wish that you will be happy. i know you had been crazy over a girl over many years. you are sad. in my heart. i scolded the girl. scolded her for hurting you over so many yrs. scolded her for being blind. i know you will be angry with me if you know i am scolding her. but i am sorry. whenever you need help. plz dun forget me. although you left. but i will always be here for you. plz stay happy and take care of your health. this is suppose to be a letter for you. but i dun wish tat you will read this. coz i know you will be angry and ignore me once again. but whatever you want. just be happy. =)

why at the last moment. i had to cry because of you again.

2005-02-14T19:59:00.000+08:00

i dunwan. i dunwan anymore. why i am the one who always cry becoz of u? why am i so stupid? why i already know the answer to my question, but still dun wish to let go. sorry to become ur burden once again. i nv ever dream i would come back to this stage again. i will try to let u off once again. really..i wish this is the last time i would cry becoz of u...

just back from chalet.

2005-02-13T20:00:00.000+08:00

back again~ hm. yest go mr yeo hse bai nian with some of the dmb members. was watching them playing mahjong coz i dun know how to play. haha. we did play some poker card game like bluff, black jack and so on. hm. at about 6pm+ we all left mr yeo hse and went to west mall to catch a movie call "constantine" this movie is about devil and angel. haha. erm. not say very nice oso ba. haha. then after the movie, some dmb peeps went home and the remaining of us went to the alumnis chalet. when we reach the chalet den we all go makan den "lao yu shen" then after that all de dmb peeps went home as their parents dun allow them stay overnite. den left me alone with the rest of the alumnis. hm. but anyway. i had a enjoyable night playing mahjong~ wahahaha~ finally learn how to play liao. haha. thanx to bs for teaching me. but after a few round then dun feel like playing liao. coz very tired. hm. that night was benjiamin bd? lol~ so cool. after a while sianz of mahjong liao den we all play bluff. sleep at about 6am+. then wake up when the sun burn my backside. actually is the crazy laughter of the alumnis downstair which wakes me up. then decided to go down see what they doing so crazy-ly. was trying to join them laugh when i had nth to do. hm. after sometime the rest of the alumnis wake up liao. then packing our stuff and preparing to go home le. time files so fast. so tired but fun. there were ppl asking me why i want to go this chalet when no dmb peeps is going. lol. but i didn answer. coz got dmb and no dmb is the same to me. =X well. so thats all ba. tired ar~

Chinese new yr. so fast ended...

2005-02-12T10:22:00.000+08:00

hey~ quite a few days nv post blog liao. hm. i will write about what happen during chinese new yr ba. chu yi, me and my family go my auntie hse. den go there take pic, gamble (in the end i lose $6 of my pocket money! *sobz*) haha. we also play with hairy (my cousinz doggie) i think hairy is more enthu den milo. i think milo only like my papa ba. coz he everytime give milo eat human food? ya. what a good reason. in the end milo is the one who suffer. erm. ya. we also went out to play basketball! kekex. every chinese new yr. we will play basketball together de. so is like one yr one time lo. haha. remember when i was small. we usually go playground together with my cousin wan. but now change liao. lol. anyway. we had a real fun time together. hm. get quite a number of ang bao ba. think not more than $100. lol. and..my papa juz took away one of my ang bao. becoz he not enough money go makan with frenz. wth. hm. so nth really much about chu yi liao. den the next day. which is chu er, i was very angry in the early morning. as i missed my fave show! zzzz. well nvm. den in the afternoon abt 1pm. me and my mama go chinese garden. erm? go there for wat? see the exhibition being put up lo. got alot of new yr thingy la. den of coz. we take lotz of pic there. lol~ hm. juz found out my mama took her wedding pic at chinese garden with my papa last time leh. haha. hm. so nth much oso liao. erm. the next day? NO!! sad to say chu san sch reopen liao. zzzz. den was as usual schooling lor. hm. but after sch. me and my classmate go to mar mar hse bai nian. haha. we play with scrappy (mar mar's doggie) scrappy also more enthu than milo. dun know why milo not hyper de. nvm ba. hm. den we had our lunch in mar mar hse. den play some card games before i left her hse. when i reach home. my mama told me that milo bite my kor kor. then at nite my kor kor came back den like not vey happy with milo. hm. den 2day chu si, later dmb going mr yeo hse bai nian. then after that going to alumnis cny chalet. hm. that's all le ba.(suddenly feel like a primary sch student writing a long journal)-.- anyway. my new mayday blogskin nice? =)

chinese new yr reunion dinner.

2005-02-08T22:20:00.000+08:00

hm. 2day morning juz morning-call a pigx. but to my surprize. tat pig woke up after my 3rd call instead of my 60th call. lol. hm. very happy. but. tell myself not to. coz i know i shouldn be happy-for-nth again. coz everything is just too fake. too fake to be happy abt. but in the end i am still happy. hm. i had contact dmb whether if they wan to go for the alumnis chalet this coming sat. but some nv reply. and most not going. and some haven confirm. hm. juz had reunion dinner in my grandma new hse juz now. juz come back home. me and my kor 2day dressed milo into a new yr suit. lol. but too bad the new yr hat milo cannot wear. coz it will drop. den in the end we only give milo wear the new yr suit. he look cute on it. lol. 2day milo oso eat good thing ( sheep meat ) haha. very xin fu hor? zzz. even i dun get the chance to eat sia. hm. get quite a number of ang bao. haha. tml going my auntie hse. den play card and gamble abit ba. haha. yes! hm. so tats all for 2day. happy chinese new yr~ =)

what a tiring day...

2005-02-05T21:59:00.000+08:00

yes!! 2day i made it "quite" on time for band! haha. thanx to jing jing and my mother for morning call to my hse for me. haha. cant believe it. 2day is my first saturday band practice that i didn late for 2 hours plus. well. i shld have been dead long ago for all the punishment. but. surprizingly no punishment was given. and i am still not dead?! haha. *crap* hm. anyway. 2day band was rather fun juz like usual. but 2day Dr Hardly Mertens came to our sch!! he is a great musician! he oso came to our sch last 2 yrs back and help us improve on our syf pieces. last 2 yrs he ask us to accent the last note of "gozillar eat las vegas" which was one of the pnt which resulted us to get a gold. haha. 2day he came and improve on our syf pieces too. i had learnt alot of things and learn which part of the music can be improve. haha. great~ i really hope that this coming 11th april syf. our band can get a gold once again! it would be my last time. hope it will be a good one! haha. hm. after band 2day i rush to lot1 for cip. den we take bus go orchard sell flage lo. haha. sian. tired oso. nobody wan to donate sia. wth. from our impression, those who are rich shld donate right? but i was wrong! when i went up to the rich ppl. dey didn care abt me at all and pretend tat i was transparent! -.-| forget it. haha. hm. tml got to go grandma new hse have lunch. den i have to cancel tml job at yu jing's father cake factory liao. but nvm ba. cny is coming. and cny chalet is near too. haha. well. i shldn get excited abt it. coz i know in the end everyone will juz think tat i am crazy. nth to be excited ba. nvm. 2nite was as usual online. and worst of all. my mum found out my injuries on my keen! argh. dunwanna let her know de. but nvm ba. she still suan me that haven cny den get ang bao liao. zzz. aiyo. bu zi bu jue i had written so much crap liao. think tats all for 2day. --

tired.

2005-02-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

i am back again. well 2day after sch. me, christina and chew mui went to yu jing's father's cake factory work. den we earn 10 buck each. haha. rather fun but tiring. yu jing gave me some of the cake. and i was like feel very paisehz. after working. i take bus 105 go home. den in the bus i slept. when alighting the bus. i was so blur tat i didn see the step ahead of me. and i fell down. well. its juz a minor injuries. so no big deal. haha. i can still bend my keen without any pain even though there is injuries on my skin. but nvm la. small kick. haiz. i haven do my ss test leh. cher ask me monday den go find her after sch to do the test. okie lor. den poa i oso dun understand wat cher toking abt. physics worst! dun understand a single thing. wth. den 2day my classmate fight during physics lesson lo. den mr lai oso dun know how to control. den still nid dm come up our class. wth. haiz. forget it. my physics prepare to die liao. stupid. argh. tml got to wake up damn early for band leh. i juz found out tat every sat practice is 730 fall in wan leh. haha. tat means i always late for abt 2 hours plus for every sat practice last time leh. haha. die ar. but tml cannot late liao. really cannot liao. i ask some ppl to give me morning call liao. haha. tml after band got class cip in lot 1 sell flage. but think we going orchard sell ba. haha. so now got to go sleep early liao. if not tml cannot wake up. i really muz prepare to die liao. -.-

haha. juz another day has pass.

2005-02-02T19:32:00.000+08:00

tml got chem and maths test. and i haven do my ss test! haiz. tml muz go find teacher liao. sometimes i really dun like my attitude. when i am stress. i would get pissed and everyone ran away from me. when i reach home. i have no heart to do my homework. juz like now? haa..was trying to go somewhere peaceful after sch everyday to complete my homework and revise be4 i go home. but. whr can i go? i would like to go to the beach. but the nearest beach is west coast. and its kns. lol. haiz. forget it ba. so tired..

argh! jialat arR!

2005-01-29T21:54:00.000+08:00

haiz. 2day missed band practice becoz i didn go. and prefect compulsory duty from sec 2 to 4!! omg! i owe alot of explaination for mr koh and my band conductor and instructor. think i am going to die le. dey will scold me ba? haiz. forget it. anyway. 2day is the sec 1 cca reporting day. so i didn get to see how cute the sec 1 is. lol. okie la. so 2day juz bought a dog bed and bone and tie string for milo. haha. now still not decided whether to call him milo, goofy or fifi. haha. i think the name fifi very cute. haha. but nvm ba. juz call him milo firz. haha. okie. stop here for 2day liao. i go do hw liao lo~

my new doggie. milo!~

2005-01-28T23:52:00.000+08:00

keke. 2day my kor kor and his gf, jiahui, brought a jack rashell doggie home. guess my mother isn very happy. but she didn show it out. den my father was like love the doggie more then us? haha. stupid. anyway. i felt tat these few days i came home quite late at abt 8pm+ den have no time to like tok to my parent. feel like going out with my mama again. feel so happy to go chinatown with my mama last last week to shop the new yr thingy. hope can go again. and make my mama more relax shopping ard. haha. but last time at chinatown i lost my way. den dun know how to go take bus. den me and my mama walk the whole round of chinatown 2 times. juz to find the bus stop. haha. hope it wont repeat again. anyway. i love my doggie, milo! and of coz i love my 2 beloved hamsters, xiao hei and xiao bai! i will always luv them~ =)

just myself.

2005-01-24T22:38:00.000+08:00

memories. too much memories. in the end everything is over. nevermind. i can always start anew. by starting to know. by starting to learn. by starting to cherish. by starting to be mature. memories will always be on my mind. at least it is there to accompany me through my life. by learning to smile. just a little. maybe it will be easier to step ahead. by accepting. this is the courage of life. new challenges makes our life interesting. failure are meant to keep you stronger. never lose to failure. never give up. =)

just let it be.

2005-01-23T13:32:00.005+08:00

maybe i shouldn care anymore. just let it be this way. for whatever unhappiness, for whatever misunderstanding. it would just stop here.

jeanette aw xuan!

2005-01-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

yesterday went to imm with pey lih to see jeanette aw xuan! haha. she so chio and cute! after tat we went to westmall coffee bean and relax ourself. i ordered ice mocha and pey lih ordered cappocino. haha. i said to the cashier that my name is sisi. den she pronounce it as S.I. then i was like sian diao. but the mocha is nice! haha. the atmosphere in coffee bean is the best for revising work or do homwork. hm. on 12 feb there will be a alumnis CNY reunion chalet at cdans. haha. i am looking forward to that! hm. wonder if i can really get discount? lol. hm. so got to stop here le. i got to rush for my dnt hw liao. haven finish! --

tired..

2005-01-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

juz wake up. has been slpin from 7pm until 10.15pm. haven eat haven bath =X lol. argh tml 8am muz reach sch and fall in for band. den at 10am got to go for parent meeting thingy. after that still got to go back band. after band go westmall with pey lih. haha. den go coffee bean revise hw and drink coffee. hm. although all hw done liao. but i still muz rush for my d&t project. as i still got alot of research to do and need to be pass up on monday. zzz. think tml is another boring day, just like 2day.. haha. 2day the prefects ordered pizza to school and treat the sec 1s. class 1n2 and 1n3. it was rather fun. as if like we were returning to the sec 1 orientation. haha. okie le. i shall stop here for 2day. =P

correction...

2005-01-12T21:55:00.000+08:00

something to be corrected. i think my mum is strong enough over all these years. but just hope that she will see life as a colourful image.

why are my family like that?

2005-01-12T21:22:00.000+08:00

really very mad! why all adults like to blame on us when they are the one doing wrong things? it just simply sux! stupid. my father want borrow money from me. den ask me dont tell my mother. den my mother ask me. what can i do? u expect me to shut my mouth up? has been really stress up this few weeks. but more problems arise just not at the right time. my mother keep saying that she is the most unlucky women in this world. but has she ever think of those people getting all sort of illness like cancer and kidney failure? they suffer more! if they can be strong. why cant she? i know its been very tiring to work at night for 8 hours. if i can start working now. i would also wish to. but this is life. no matter how hard. we must be strong! i am stress. but i know i cant lose to stress. seeing my frenz with so much trouble to worry of. i really wish they would put their heart down one day. n level. no time to worry abt other things. but no matter what family comes first. just hope that my father can be more sensible and my mother can be strong. juz like blow my temper at my father. i really cant control anymore. he is the one who want to borrow money from me and yet scolded me for telling my mother abt it. wth. argh. forget it. say so much also no use.

haiz. still got what hw not done sia?

2005-01-09T23:23:00.000+08:00

haiz. think got alot hw haven done lehz. the social studies holiday assignment me haven do finish and the social studies essay questions and the wb questions which cher juz give us, i oso haven do yet. den the chinese wb, i dont know where i put sia. maybe in school. if in school, tml i got to do finish and learn chapter 1 chinese spelling. and poa! i muz stay back after school to ask ms goh teach me! coz i dont know anything at all! die die. the d&t hw. the folio i anyhow draw. den in the end very ugly. gosh. its my n level work. and i didn like put in 100% to do it. feeling so sucky man. zzz. the d&t ws haven complete yet. haiz. this is how i start my sec 4 life sia. completely hopeless. how can i make myself work hard sia! stupid. *slap myself real hard!* haiz. zzz. hope my hw will all be done soon. muz remember to buy chinese handbook and one black file for d&t and foolscrap and pay mdm asrina the $6 for the english tys bk. okie. tats all. it will all be done by tml! *promise!*

gross.

2005-01-08T23:08:00.000+08:00

the sec 1 oritation finally end liao lo. and i can go back to normal lesson time from next week on! haha. realise i really got to catch up alot with my school work. especially de poa. i dun know what cher toking abt. and there are mountain of homework waiting for me to be done. hm. lets talk abt the sec 1 oritation camp in school. hm. i was in charge of class 1n2 together with wong min, ridzwan and yi ying. haha. the class was really very noisy and naughty. wong min, yi ying and myself really cant do anything to the class at all. but lucky ridzwan can lead the class very well! he's really a very good leader, got to learn alot from him. haha. hm. on the camp firz nite. we all didn really slp. coz we got to petrol the school. together with some perfects and myself. we all went to explore the school. you must be wondering if anything happened ya? hm. i think its scary. coz we heard something we shouldn have heard at the middle of the night. when we go up to the fourth floor, for your information, the light was on at that level for some purpose. i dont know what la. then we all pass by class 3e1 and ahead there is a girl's toilet. then some perfects were trying to be funny by visiting to the girl's toilet. when they came out of the toilet. they switch off the light and close the door of the toilet. but guess what. when we were abt to walk off. we heard loud druming sound from the toilet continuously. we were all shock. and we stay calm outside the toilet. someone said that there is really something in the toilet. after a while the sound stopped. but it began again before we started to run. by the time we were all scared and rush down to the hall where the sec 1s were sleeping at. its quite scary. how the sound was produce when there is no one in the toilet and obviously no drum too? gosh. dont talk about it anymore. well. 2day i missed band practice again. i woke up at 3pm. i guess its becoz i haven been slping for the whole night during the sec 1 camp. its was super tiring. hm. well. nth more to write liao.

all in one dreamz.

2005-01-02T11:47:00.000+08:00

i had a dream. i dream that i cut my hair. which i am going to cut 2day. really really hope it will be nice. i dream of "them". but this time round. there are 2 person who are very special in my dream. well. i shall not say who are they. haha. but it was rather a nice dream. but dont know why i feel kind of sad. feel like we are all further away. wonder if i will lost contact with them one day. i hope not. hm. its juz a dream. well. i shall not think too much again. hm. tml school reopen liao. and i haven done my ss hw yet. haha. i am really very slacking. dont wish to start school yet. but no choice. hm. yesterday i went to orchard with my mama. then my mama bought me the skirt that i want for new yr. haha. felt rather happy that finally the skirt belongs to me. i had aim the skirt for quite a long time. haha. the sales girl told us that it was the last one, but lucky i got it! yesterday at orchard, i came across the song "the reason" for 2 times. so i stood down there listening until the song end. one is from the radio and one is Live singing. i like the song alot. coz it always remind me of something. haha. hm. tml taking pledge. i felt rather nervous becoz i had not take for 2 months. i wonder if i can make it. haha. nvm ba. just let it be. hm. later going to bukit timah with mama then i go cut hair. so shall stop here. -enjoy my last day of holiday- *sob!*

i've got a surprize yesterday. =D

2004-12-31T13:56:00.000+08:00

lol. very happy. tml is new yr liao le! happy new yr~ haha. i've got a surprize ard 2am+ in the irc 2day. haha. its my best new yr surprize! i can feel of the past. although the feeling is just a little bit only. but i felt that its just how we quite use to be. well. i wasn sure. maybe i was wrong also. whatever it is. i am really very happy. lol. thankz alot to "someone" who gives me this very special surprize. its my best present for new yr. haha. =D

happy!~

2004-12-31T02:25:00.000+08:00

haha. very happy. happy new yr! lol. =D

any nice hair style?

2004-12-30T19:05:00.000+08:00

i wanna cut hair again liao. but dont know which hair style to cut. maybe i am going to cut shorter abit. den on top can style up one. haha. dont know how to describe. haiz. just found out that my school bag spoil liao. nvm ba. school reopening real soon and i havent touch my homework yet. wonder what am i doing in this 2 months holiday. i only got one social studies homework, but until now still not done yet. haha. no heart to do homework. very slack. argh. this holiday i told myself that no matter what i muz go swimming! but i havent go leh. friends all very busy. haiz. forget it ba. next time then go ba. well, wonder what will happen when school reopen. wonder who am i going to sit with. lets hope everyone will be happy in their sitting arrangement. lol. hope this yr thingy wont repeat next yr in class. tired of it liao. hope the whole class can communicate peacefully next yr. haha. first week of school need to take pledge again. but it will be my last week. hope everything will go smoothly. haiz. my blog dont have archive. then cannot view my old posting liao. but nvm. maybe this is better. hm. i go have dinner le~

haiz.

2004-12-29T20:53:00.000+08:00

yesterday was finally chatting with someone. but the feeling wasnt good. dun know why. maybe we wasnt like before anymore. you are right, time files like wind and changes took place too oftenly. but afterall i was rather happy that you are still willing to talk to me. haha. i know yesterday night i was very talkative and very fan. really very sorry about that. maybe was just trying to repeat how we use to chat last time. but i know it wont repeat anymore. haha. if you are going to read this one day. i am sure you will heckcare and ignore whatever i had written here. haha. but just a word, sorry. yr 2005 is coming soon. i will change into a better person and forget whatever unhappiness i had this yr. a new yr has a new starting. i wish yr 2005 is a better yr for me. of coz the best present for me in this coming new yr is to forget whatever i should forget. i hope i will really forget completely. haha. next yr sec 4 lo. sound rather mature right? lol. hope i am mature too. okie liao. i stop here le. =))

haiz. i am sorry. but its too late.

2004-12-28T22:03:00.000+08:00

i feel so terrible when you still treat me as a friend. when i had already block you and delete you in my list. i cant regret. i know i cant, because if i regret, i will feel much more terrible talking to you. haiz. forget it. anyway. 2day is the dmb rod. very sianz except the alumnis performing. it was a great performance. happy to see the alumnis again. haiz. why no chalet. if there is a chalet, i should be at the chalet right now and not sitting in front of the lappy. feel so sianz. hope next yr got chalet ba. haiz. still nid to wait. stupid! that's the event which i am looking forward to every yr. and now. i have to wait for one more yr. so tiring. and also dun know next yr got chalet or not. haiz. forget it ba. feeling kinda restless now. 2day the rod food was nice. but i cant believe we actually spend $280 for the buffet. its so ex. y not rather have a chalet instead. lol. argh. tired. i stop here le.

ending of my friendship. say goodbye.

2004-12-27T09:58:00.000+08:00

haa. cant believe it. i just block/delete someone from my msn and friendster whom i cherish so much. but maybe without my exist he will live a better life. so i choose not to disturb him anymore. not even as a friend. i am sure what i had done is correct. so i leave no regret at all. or maybe i also feel that the friendship between us is very meaningless. haa. i know it sound so stupid. but i just dun like it. maybe ending is a good thing too. ending a chapter is better then creating more unwanted trouble in that chapter which leaves painful memories in your life. so i decided to close up that chapter without any arguement or unhappiness, it is also consider as a good ending, isn't it? well. tml is dmb rod liao. later going orchard again to find present. hope i can find some cheap and nice stuff. but for guys, i really had no idea what to buy. maybe some weird stuff? haha. hope i can buy finish the presents by 2day. if not jialat lah. hm. think i stop here liao. --ending--

what's going on?

2004-12-26T13:46:00.000+08:00

hm. just change my blogskin. but kinda got problem. the tagboard cant be tag and where has my headline of my every post gone to? and why no archive wan leh. abit not use to it although the picture and the music is very nice. nvm. i will find out what's wrong with my blog and make it more prefect. haha. got to thanx jia hui for helping me create this nice blogskin. hm. yest went to orchard with mama. den we shop the whole wisma shopping mall. was finding the christmas hat. the lady who sell the christmas thingy on the roadside said that the one she was wearing is the last one. and it cost $5. rather expensive. den didn buy. haha. my mama tell me that next yr den buy la. -.-| hm. after shopping for hours and hours. my legs were very tired. den we didn go on further liao. so we headed home. when we reach home, it was about 1130pm. very late right? haha. hm. was onlining when i reach home. then i went to check if my fren accept the testi i wrote. but really too much liao. my fren accept other ppl testi except mine. very dulan. sometime my fren come online also like act dao like that. this type of fren also got? i rather not having it. haha. forget it la. anyway not my problem. hm. nth more to write liao. oh yar hor. haven buy rod present, this tues rod liao. haiz..how sia. -.-

bugis and orchard. legs very tired. merry christmas eve~

2004-12-24T22:44:00.000+08:00

2day i go to bugis and orchard with pey lih. we went and look for our new yr clothes. hm. i find out that pey lih know how to save money. i should learn from her, so that i can save money to buy the thing i want. hm. 2day i bought a white-ish pink collar shirt for $20. that will be my new yr shirt. and for the dress i want, its $30, i haven buy yet. its rather expensive. but i like it alot. haha. so i think i should be buying. so i had to spend $50 altogether for my one set of new yr clothes. really had a fun and enjoyable day shopping ard with pey lih. she bought her sling bag and new yr shirt. haha. den we went to shop all ard orchard. well. long time nv go orchard liao. full of memories there. haa. lets dun say abt it anymore. hm. when night reaches, the crowd began to increase. and soon, the whole street was so crowded that i could hardly get out of orchard. lolx. hm. rather sad. coz the next time we can go out together is on next yr june holiday le ba. she is my best pri sch fren. haha. well. 2day in orchard quite a number of shuai ge. i also met alot of friends in orchard. some of them quite a long time nv see liao. so quite happy also. hm. 2nite and tml nite my mama dun nid go work. so maybe tml can go shopping with mama again le. haha. i am rather sleepy now, so i shall stop here. merry christmas eve!~

pizza.with.fellow.perfects.(or maybe acarde too?) =D

2004-12-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

hehe. i was finally in my full gear this morning. i could hardly find any chance to wear full gear which most of the perfects wear until dunwan to wear liao. -.- was doing ushering and getting the new reporting sec 1s to be settled down in their respective classes. well. that was rather easy provided the parents doesn't ask too much questions. but that was okay. hm. after the reporting thingy, ms lim gave us $50 to spend? haa. we went to jurong point. we watch the guys played car racing in the acarde. that was exciting~ lol. after "a while" we went down to pizza hut to have our lunch. haa. can you believe it? we actually ordered 6 set of pizza for ourselves ( 12 heads )..each person muz at least finish 4 pieces of pizza. that's very very full. haa. but we eat until very "shiok" ??...hm. wong min and vivian each give me a key chain for christmas, i should also buy something for them. so tml i will be going out with pey lih. hm. looking for new yr clothes, rod present and christmas gift for wong min and vivian. wondering if i've got enough money. haa. tml mr remund koh and miss tham getting married lo~ haiz. nv invite the perfects go to their wedding dinner. haha. but tml some perfects will be going to wish them waiting outside the resturant. okay then, nth more to write liao. ^^

merry christmas~

2004-12-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

hoho. christmas is near! hm. just heard that tml there is a christmas party waiting for me! hm. its organise by the perfectorial board. think it would be fun!~ talking about perfectorial board. tml is the sec 1 reporting day! haha. hope to see little cute xiao shuai ge! hm. tml all perfects need to go to school early and help out for the reporting sec 1s. talking about sec 1. i still remember last time when i was a sec 1 student. i still remember my reporting day to dunearn. hold my mama's hand and kena lead by the perfects to my sec 1 class. haha. i doubt tml the sec 1s will be as blur compared to me last 2 yrs back. lolx~ sound so cute! hm. this fri going to buy new yr clothes with my pri sch best friend. haha. looking forward to that! oh yar. i can also look out for rod present. hope i got enough money~ haa.. - to be continue-

haa.

2004-12-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

hm. its holiday for our band. no more practices until sch reopen. next tues, 28 dec, is our band rod in sch -.- sound very sianz. i dun know what are we having. feel like dun know anything at all. but now i must think of what rod present i should buy for my seniors. and how many should i buy. and of coz. must oso see got enough money or not. haa. sound very pathetic right? yes. i am! still remember last yr rod. i spent $60 plus buying present just for my section senior only. and that describe how broke i am now. but compare to last yr, this yr my section only got 2 seniors instead of 5 seniors we had last yr. okie. think i shall stop here.

gosh! its so scary!

2004-12-20T20:11:00.000+08:00

2day i thought i am going to die. when i wake up. my stomach hurt alot. den i went to the toilet. but it still cant help. instead it had become more painful. the pain causes me to feel very cold. after a while. i decided to go to my parent's room and tell my parents abt it. but when i went out of the toilet, i felt very dizzy. and soon. i was all blackout. i couldn see a single thing! i thought i had went blind. but i still continue to use my hand and find my way out of the kitchen. without my sight to help me, i knock onto the wall. well. its very pain. i got a "orh-ba-ka" on my forehead. after i know i am out of my kitchen still without my sight, cant see a single thing, i decided to rest, so i immediatly fall onto my living room and lay on the floor. i rest a while, and soon, my sight is back. i felt kind of happy that i can see again. if not i really dun know what to do, because i am late for band. and i dun wan to miss the exchange programme with ngee ann sec this morning. after i can see, i faster went into my parent's room and wake my father up. telling him that i felt very dizzy. he bring me medicine and asked me to rest on the bed for a while. resting for 15 mins. i realise. it was 6.45am. band falling in at 7.15am. so i realise i was going to be late again. when i went out of my hse. it was already 7 plus. but in the end i still made it to school. lucky the band have not left for ngee ann sec yet. if not i would have to take mrt to tempiness. this morning incident was very scary. i realise being blind is too scary. therefore, when we see any blind ppl out on the road. we should always go up to them and lend them our hands to rely on.

haiz. is this a good dream or a bad dream?

2004-12-18T18:29:00.000+08:00

i had a dream. i dream that he found himself a gf. well. i think its suppose to be a happy dream. i shld be happy for him. but dun know why i feel so unhappy. already promise myself to forget. i should have forgotten by now. [since you didn even care at all. why should i care so much? its completely a waste of time. i rather spend all these time to forget about you] <--tats my quit msg for irc. haha. but. its exactly how i feel right now. its has been half a yr. he almost didn really bother about me. i know its a very big difference from now and then. and it cant be repeat anymore. just to post this as to remember that this dream may come true one day. and i must accept it no matter what.

zzzzzzzzz

2004-12-17T23:18:00.000+08:00

tired tired tired tired tired. boring boring boring boring boring. 2day is the release of n level result. all my senior did very good. haiz. next yr my turn liao. wonder how my result will be. nvm. i will work hard. (well hope so) tml got band again. nid to wake up early again. argh!..tired la. i dunwan so early wake up la..haiz. stupid!

another band hw......about balance. sigh

2004-12-13T13:21:00.000+08:00

well. last practice, mr yeo gave us another hw to do. well its kind of spoiler. but i know its for our own good. haiz. this time round, he wanted us to do a essay of at least 200 words. wondering what crap can be added in to add up to 200 words. well. its ok. i think i can make it. hm. jing jing asked if want to go sentosa sun tan 2day. but haven confirm yet. think she is still slpin like a dead pig now. well. juz forget it. this morning i had a surprize. someone whom i didn expect to call me had call me in the morning at abt 5am when i was still asleep..well its a missed call. but i was very shock. think he accidently press my number or what?..well i dun know. haha. haiz. sianz ar..has been looking ard for new yr clothes. haiz. troubled with the band hw now. wonder when am i finishing. okie. i think thats all for 2day liao. *really sianz*

band outing to sentosa!~

2004-12-10T18:35:00.000+08:00

woO!. 2day there is a band outing to sentosa. this outing is organise by deborah, ben and hariz. although not everyone in the band turn up for the outing. but it was a enjoyable one. at first we started off by playing captain's ball. we are divided into 2 team. the team who lose the game will have to go into the sea. and guess what? my team lose the game. so we all went down into the sea. and we were all very wet!..but its okay. soon everyone was wet because we pull everyone into the sea. so after tat we had our story telling in the sea. that was fun. the feeling in the sea was so colding~ after that we hang ard in the sea. and we built sand castle. after building, 2 women came and took a picture with our sand castle. lolx. after a while. we leave for bathing and changing of our wet clothings. i felt much comfortable after washing up. when everyone had finish bathing, we took the bus back to the harbourfront bus interchange and we went into the shopping mall to have our lunch. after lunch, deb and some of the seniors had to go back to sentosa as deb has to attend a wedding dinner in sentosa. haha. hm. i went with the rest of the peeps to shop ard the mall. after a while of shopping. we were all very tired and headed home. haiz. i haven finish my band hw!. and tml there is foot drill. haha. long time nv foot drill liao. well. shall end here~

different style of band practice.

2004-12-04T21:41:00.000+08:00

2day we were having band practice from 9am to 1pm. i would say 2day's practice was kinda fun. mr yeo ask the brass section to combine in the parade square. and his method of teaching was fun. like we all play together. once we made a mistake. he would stop and point at anyone to answer whats the mistake we've made. if cannot answer than drop 20. its very funny when we come across that almost all of us dont know what's our mistake. and one by one auto drop 20 without being asked. lolx. hope mr yeo will continue to use this method of teaching. =)

maybe i shouldn talk so much.

2004-12-03T23:13:00.000+08:00

2day. i talk too much. talk too much on the things which i had learnt with my friends. i get so carried away when i was sharing with my friends. well. you must be wondering whats the problem with that right?. i think i am being selfish. i didn thought of if my friends would find it interesting too? or maybe very boring. if they find it so boring. maybe i shouldn have shared with them at the first place. that would be so irritating for them to stand there and listen to me talk so enthu all the while. haiz. i have realise my mistake. i wont shared my experience next time if my friends felt so boring or sick about it.

Angelo Chinese ( Independent ) exchange programme.

2004-12-02T23:45:00.000+08:00

hm. kinda happy 2day, i get to know more friends. 2day our band went to acsi for exchange programme. we learn things from each other. we also practice the piece call "overture jubiloso" with the acsi peeps. there are almost 10 trumpeters in acsi. that is a very large number. every single trumpeter has got professional skill. we got to learn more from them. they are all very friendly. i find it enjoyable practicing with them and combining with them with Dr Lee conducting us. Dr Lee last time use to ask dmb owe cokes if we did anything wrong, but now, it is completely different for acsi. Dr Lee asked them to owe him $2 each time if they make a mistake. lolx. during combine, he will also anyhow pick on ppl to answer him questions. there are some actors in acsi. i doubt if the trumpet Sl is also a actor?. because i find him so familiar when i first saw him. look like this is not the first time i've seen him. well. overall. it was a nice and enjoyable day which i had made new friends~ hm. hope to go for more exchange programme coming up. =)

nyp band practice.

2004-11-30T01:13:00.000+08:00

2day went to nyp band practice again. it was kinda fun but tiring. from 1pm to 5pm there was dmb practice. after dmb, some of the band peeps went to nyp band and practice with the nyp band members. wow. 2day i really had a shock. the guy sitting next to me plays the trumpet really super double well. he is a future professional musician for sure. the peeps in nyp band is very friendly. alot of pro players. very united and independence. quite alot of shuai ge also. lolx. get to play alot of new pieces which i never play before. its some sort of challenging for me. and also i hope it really does improve on my sight reading. yes. i am going to practice hard and learn alot from the professional tumpeter from nyp (dont know his name) .. haha. =)

nyp tune in

2004-11-26T22:25:00.000+08:00

2day serene, jing, qian qi, dominic and me went for nyp tune in. after a while. mazuin and mar mar come and join us. it was quite fun and we get to play many different pieces which i didn play be4..and its side reading some more. all the high notes cannot play sia. den like didn really play much. grr. felt so fed up. was juz helping my frenz. but in the end. my fren sound like dun need help at all. feel so paisehz. feel like doing something extra again. maybe i shouldn really go and care on all these things which doesn concern me in future. nyp band was kinda united. not like dmb. haiz. juz wish luck on next yr syf ba. den i can pass down faster and concentrate more on my studies. hm. nyp quite alot of shuai ge ba. feel like nv see shuai ge for ages liao. lolx. upcoming event for dmb is the exchange programme with acs. hope can see more shuai ge la~ haiz. but oso no face go sia. later dun know fingering in front of acs peeps. den very paisehz. 2day there is a trumpeter who go for the tune in oso. he oso from sec 3. his trumpet oso damn pro wan lo. can reach high note. haiz. i very shi bai. argh...heckz la. not my problem. stop here liao. -to be continue- ( bo chap life )

why i always fail to be what i want to be?

2004-11-13T22:55:00.000+08:00

haiz. dun understand why am i thinking so much. this only makes my life so irritating. now i can understand why ppl feel so tired toking to me. i am really sorry. sometimes i just dun know how to react when someone is trying to fool ard with me. i cant just stand there quiet and listen to the person talk rubbish mah. abit weird ar. haha. but forget it. this wouldn affect me much oso. its just my communication problem. 2day i learn something as a um. i've learn what is dry washing. lolx. dry washing is to wash without water!..haha. be4 that i thought it was a crap. wash without water? sound so funny. but after listening to what ms ong and ms foo explain more details about dry washing, den i began to understand more. thurs there will be audition for sec 1 and 2 for the syf. this will be conduct by our dear majors. and the sec 3s need to know 7 major scales beside B flat major scale. haiz. major scale i most weak one. cannot memorise the fingering everytime. nvm. i will still continue to practice more. today dominic and qian qi teach me the semi tone. den i still dun understand. haiz. all these basic i still dun know. not fit to be a sec 3. open hse performance coming liao. nov 25. and from nov 22 to 24 i've got leadership camp in cedans in the new build advanturous camp. i hope it would be a fun one. haha. hm. show start liao lo. stop here le. -to be continue- ;)

just back from watching movie.

2004-11-10T18:52:00.000+08:00

just came back home from watching movie with yi hui and jess. lolx. we watched princess diaries 2. it was a very nice and funny movie. i really did admire the princess in the movie. she is so confident of herself, so kind, so caring, so open and full of laughter. i should learn some points from her. to be more confident. well, firstly, we met dominic, qian qi, serene, clarinda and kelvin in the cinema. we sit the row in front of them. after the movie, yi hui found out that her brother is behind the row too. lolx. what a convenience. hm. i hope yi hui and jess did enjoy themselves. jess look abit sianz. lolx. didn tok much lehz. or maybe i didn entertain her. lolx. very sorry. but next time muz ask her go orchard together. den we can shop our new yr clothes together! hehex. she is my best shopping mate~ after the movie we met christina, vivian and chew mui. lolx. i guess yi hui is on her best of luck 2day. tml my mother ask me to go shopping with her as tml is a holiday. haha. thats very good. den i can bring my mother shop ard those places and can relax herself oso as she every night has to work and come back at 8+ in the morning. thats very tiring. i am learning to do housework liao. starting with cleaning up of my own bedroom. but my stupid brother will mess up the room again de. -.- haha. haiz. looking forward to band rod. hope there is a band chalet. hope to meet my band seniors and alumnis soon. wonder will things change?.. i am very afraid. but just let it be. haha. i've written so much crap. think its time for me to stop here. -to be continue- =)

just realise. i really got to be strong. and stop all the nonsense i had done so long.

2004-11-09T23:48:00.000+08:00

2day got band. hm. nth really happen. no one faint. no one die. (if it really happen i think it will happen to me! ) hehe. jiex say tml wan go watch movie. wonder if she still remember. haha. nvm ba. hm..i had a dream. a very beautiful dream. i dream of everyone i miss so much.. of coz. the one who's very impt to me is inside my dreamz. but tat person didn bother about me liao. even a hi oso won say le. wonder if this will come true the next time we meet. hope not..and i miss dumbbell and his master. haha. long time nv see dumbbell le. but too bad his master very busy. need to accompany his stead oso. so i dun think got any chance go see dumbbell liao. haha.. dumbbell and his master oso appear in my dreamz. i had a fun time playing with dumbbell in my dreamz. haha. i hope i can stay asleep in my beautiful dreamz forever. so that i can see him more often. hehex. but wats the point. he oso won bother about me liao. juz heard the aeroplane fly past. it remind me of last yr band chalet at changi. i miss the time so much. sitting around with the alumnis chatting. listening to the plane fly past every 15 minutes. lolx. ( i am crapping again.) stiupid. well dun think about it le. what has pass had oredi pass. i will always be looking forward. =)

happy to see you again 2day.

2004-11-04T20:06:00.000+08:00

haha. 2day saw that person ne.*secret* but its all over liao la. but always my best fren. although didn contact often. and didn really care for each other anymore. but 2day i saw you again. long time no see le ne. more pimples grow on your face le. haha. wonder hows him and his stead. wish him happy ba. i won disturb him often le. to have disturb him only makes his life terrible. everyone is like that. so suay to tio me disturb. you will find urself in the hell with me ard. haiz. very sorry. i simply sux. hm. find out that actually i dun belong to the band much. sec 3 seems so close hanging ard. but i am so odd. maybe its becoz i am in normal academic class ba?..maybe i am out. lolx. haiz. feel sorry to jing. always accompany me. thanx alot. tml still got band. abit tired. saturday going out with my pri sch frenz. heex. and wish yi hui all the luck for her O's english paper result!. i am sure she can do it de! =)

there was once. but not anymore.

2004-11-01T22:47:00.000+08:00

there was once a person who mean alot to me. but now the person is my best fren. or maybe not anymore?...the person no longer interested to hear me out. no longer bother to reply me. no longer remember my hp number which once use to remember even if i change number for lots of time. but..it is disappointing to find out that..now i mean nothing to the person at all. maybe that person is just too busy with jc life, just too busy to bother. but hope he won repeat his mistake again. hope he would cherish everyone. show them that he cherish them. but not keep on forgetting when busy life goes on. this is how we lose a fren when you are too busy to bother. nv let this happen. you will regret.

its too late for sure. nvm. i wont force. =)

2004-11-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

kaoz. ming ming got publish the post liao. in the end. didn update. very sianz nid to rewrite everything again. zzz. 2day first day of bridging programme den i nv go. haiz. scared tml mr raja will scold me as i dun have any mc to provide him. den he only accept mc. cannot accept letter wan lo. so ma fan. but my mama got the correct medicine for me, den of coz dun nid go c doctor lo. waste money for wat. den my mother ask me tml tell mr raja to call my hse den my mother will tell him the reason for not visiting a doctor lo. felt much more relieve after hearing that. tml still got bridging programme. very sianz. everyday wake up early. tml got band after the bridging programme oso. nid to sort out band jackets with jing tml and send for washing asap. haiz. feel that its too late to realise my mistake. its too late to realise. i've lose your feeling. its too late. but its ok. i will give up. it is all fated. fated to be late. fated to lose it.

artivity night cum the day i realise you.but its too late.

2004-10-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

2day is artivity nite. i juz return home. very tired. throat simply just pain. think i am getting cough very soon. tml there will be band practice oso. super tired. but without band practice, it would be boring. well. 2nite band was simply just fun and crazy. simply get myself out of my own loner world. but dun worry. i will be returning back to my loner world soon. this is the night. maybe. i realise you. thinking back. i regret again. but it all started now. yet ending soon too. coz i know its too late. there is a thing call fade in this world. upon so long. i guess you must have been faded on me. well its my fault. maybe its good too. well. wish you happy. =)

i am dying soon.

2004-10-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

fever+cough+sprin ankle...think my ankle going to break liao. everytime sprin. one day i will be sitting on the wheelchair. my beloved hamster xiao hei so cute..he slping on his wheel halfway playing on it. haha. den got sometime he will go up to his wheel and dream with his eyes open. tml is my class chalet first day. and it will be ending on sunday. but i cant make it. haiz. tml got band performance, the artivity nite. and saturday got band practice. i think i go for my class chalet on saturday nite. to relax myself for one nite. i can faint anytime anywhere now. not as strong as be4 anymore. now i feel that i can be black out anytime. i better be prepared.

fever..abit only la. haha

2004-10-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

2day in school very sianz..all the talks. den feeling abit not well. 2day got temp. taking..den at morning my temp is 37.4..heng heng can pass ar. but afternoon after recess den my temp is 37.6..den cher ask me to take again after 10 min. this time more worse. 37.7..den bo bian. cher blin me down the dm room den miss michelle tham call taxi and lent me $10 to pay the taxi fee after reaching my home. den tml nid to return her de money. i broke liao. haha. tml captain ball inter-class. jing jing oso playing. maybe tml she will be my game-enemy. whahaha!. lolx. den i will bang her. hehe. jkjkz. tml got sectional ne. friday is artivity night. band performing. sad to say. its last minute preparing again. hope we can play well for that performance. now late le. i got to sleep early. so as not to invite my fever again. -to be continue-

juz be fine.

2004-10-26T22:33:00.000+08:00

it makes me worry when one of the alumni come and ask me if one day he die. will i be sad. what's wrong?..haiz. plz dun die. he is so called my god brother. a very nice guy. but he seem troubled. although long time nv talk to him. but seeing him trouble did makes me worry. hope he is fine. 2day go out with jing jing buy germaine present. we go all the way to city hall after sch. well..really had a very mad and tired and yawning day with her. we were finding present up and down which are suitable for germaine. we search for 3 hours plus. but still cant find anything. in the end we go to raffles city mall den go robinson finally buy a present for germaine. very tired. zzz..2day i woke up late. den end up go sch oso late. mr boh still know my name somemore. den he ask me why am i late. i said i oversleep. heng he let me off. haha..what a lucky day. -.-

ai le. tong le. ku le.

2004-10-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

i know my mistake. why there is no second chance?...wait..that's what i can do. i am a idiot. juz heckcare me.

what can i say when i am sensitive?

2004-10-22T23:01:00.000+08:00

i know you didn ignore me. i know..but. why i always think that you did it on purpose. i dun know why i am always like tat. i dunwan to be so sensitive..i know you dun like me this way. or never ever like me again becoz i oredi lose the chance. but i just cant forget. i am useless.

result..haiz.

2004-10-20T23:34:00.000+08:00

my result sux alot..fail my d&t and maths. die liao. tml getting back poa. i think i will cry till siao. sure single digit want. cham+jialat. diediedie!.

i thought i have forgotten.

2004-10-19T15:34:00.000+08:00

why...why am i still like that. i am still back to square one..i just cant forget. just cant forget you. still miss you alot. but its hopeless anyway. everyone seems to walk off in front of me. or is it i seems to walk off in front of everyone else? i just cant continue. it just stuck at that moment when you didn reply me at all. its stuck there. maybe it's the end. its just so hopeless. -to be continue-

this i promise myself.

2004-10-18T14:21:00.000+08:00

today. i promise myself. never be close to anyone anymore. no one can be too truthful. even myself. alone is better den so many ppl beside you. one more thing. i promise to stand up for my friends if they are being bullied. even if i had to fight with the person. no one can bullied my friends anymore. suddenly feel that nth in this world are meaningful. what are friends?..i really dun know..what is love? what is care? i really dun know. maybe love and care can be expressed in a cold way. you might think what i talk is all crap. but i mean it. these are my promise.

a loner story.

2004-10-17T11:02:00.000+08:00

what is a loner? a loner is someone who doesn want to share any of his problems to anyone. a loner is someone who rather serve his friend den his friend serving him. a loner is someone who rather choose to listen to his friends problems den saying his problems to his friends. a loner is someone who choose to be in his own world rather den in the world which is surrounded by people. a loner dun have a best friend in his heart although he might mix around with a number of friends. a loner dun like to create problems. a loner dun like his friend to care for him. a loner dun nid anyone to care and love. a loner. simply has a sad story which doesn wish to be shared.

my beloved hamster is back! xiao hei!

2004-10-15T22:47:00.000+08:00

hehe. on tuesday midnight we found back xiao hei le!. very funny. he too hungry den he go and find my bro by touching my bro foot. that's how we found him!.haha. cartoon rite?. lolx!.xiao hei hamtaro!.lolx.he now inside his cage with xiao bai. hehe. very cute. now he rubbing himself. my beloved xiao hei finally back le!. haha. but xiao bai abit guailan. he like very active. always play with xiao hei and create alot of sound.lolx.ok ba.i say until here liao. -to be continue-

exam finally finish.but still cant rest in peace.

2004-10-15T22:31:00.000+08:00

2day my last paper. very very very very very difficult. fer poa i dun know how to do almost all the transaction. in the end all cannot balance. haiz. den i didn do everything. coz the question all connected one. cannot balance the trial balance.den everything dun need to do liaox.surely fail!.fer d&t.i study from 1am to 4am. in the end. all i study one nv come out. good lo. teacher still ask us go study those chapter lo. den in the end all nv come out. tired ar. i think on the day getting back result i dunwan go sch. no face to face my teacher liao. surely fail until very jialat one. its all my fault fer being so slack. den now. everything cannot do. i dun deserve a good rest this holiday. no hardwork, no rest. so useless. haiz. forget it.

Ending soon!!! 3 more subjects to go! Kambate! =D

2004-10-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

woO!..left 3 more subjects den final yr exam will be finishing!..haha. d&t,poa and normal maths haven been tested yet. 2day is the physics, chemistry and cme paper. i hope for chemistry i've do my working correctly.i must really thanks yi hui for teaching me the mole method of finding the mass. i've applied that method in my chemistry paper. i hope i did it correctly. physics i dun have the confident because i studied it for the last few hours before the exam started. so it is very last minute. physics i think just 50:50 percent of passing chance. quite scared. haha. scared my english oso. i doubt teacher had already finish marking our english paper. but he will be giving out only after marking day. zzzz. our chinese paper also take back le. than english should be no problem getting back ar. teacher obey the rules too closely liao.tml i no need to go school because tml is e-maths paper which i will not be taking. i will only be learning e-maths when i am in sec 5. my maths standard too poor le. haha. normal maths also cannot slove. lolx. tml i have got whole day to study for my 3 subjects. haha. i can do it. pia till de end! -to be continue-

its the beginning to stress.

2004-10-09T19:14:00.000+08:00

its starting. just the starting. starting of the battle. monday is the day. we will be sitting in the hall and writing out our knowledge in a set of examination. haha. i like the feeling of examination in the hall. its like feeling that the exam are more impt when sitting the papers in the hall instead of classroom. monday is social studies and geography papers. yesterday was a bad day. i lost my cute hamster (xiao hei) ..when i take him out to play. he slip off my hand and went into my sofa. and never come out again. (or maybe he come out le but i nv c.) i open up my sofa by tearing a hole at the bottom of the sofa.. but didn c him. he is lost. haiz. gone case. i hope he is fine. lucky i still have his pictures in my father's hp. haiz. sadded. yesterday i said the pledge wrongly. i hope it is not too serious. after i finish the first 2 sentence den i forget the next sentence liao "regardless of race" ...dun know y i forget. when i was up there i wasn nervous. maybe i am too lazy to think of the next sentence. haha. but who cares. forget den forget lo. let the whole sch laff only mah. lolx. very dulan ar. yesterday a guailan gal scold vivian becoz vivian accidently bang onto her. and the guailan gal holding the milo splash abit on herself. den she angry den anyhow scold "you dun have eyes ar? cant c me ar? say sorry got cure ar?". she still walk next to vivian and wipe her "milo" shirt onto vivian's shirt. den vivian shirt got milo sia. what's her problem. attitude idiot. i think the one no eyes want is her ar. cant see vivian not on purpose want mehz?. stupid. den i feel kinda guity didn help vivian. should have slap that guailan gal. lolx!. but i didn sia. haiz. miss the chance. but vivian so kind want. she oso heckcare tat gal wan lo. woOhoo~ its dinner time liao lo. -to be continue- =D

haiz. sorry.

2004-10-07T19:19:00.000+08:00

2day didn take pledge ne. coz my throat pain. den i ask for reserve to take. hm. saw linda's expression. think she dun like it when i always ask for reserve ba. haiz. i am sorry. sorry ellien for asking you take 2day. but tml i will be taking le. i wont ask for reserve anymore le. my job i do myself. so everyone will be happy ba. zzz..score throat only. what a stupid excuse. i am so useless.

my chinese result. disappointed in paper 1.

2004-10-07T19:12:00.000+08:00

2day get back my chinese result le. my paper 1. drop alot. and i went out of point. i get 43/70. haiz. so poor!. very disappointed. but forget it. make sure i wont make the same mistake again on the next exam. my paper 2. 66/70. got improvement. but still can be improve more. won give up de! 2day stay at school. do some maths revision with my classmate. kinda happy that 2day i revise my maths. because i've practice more and wont be so scared on maths question liao. later still going practice more. and my poa. haiz. on saturday must go back school ask teacher until i know how to do liao den can go home. end year le! must work hard for a little more den can enjoy le! still a little more to go. i can make it! =D

dun dare anymore.

2004-10-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

argh. throat hurt alot. since last time i ate lotz of curry. den score throat.lolx.hm.sometime i got a kind of feeling that if i care too much and think too much.i will become more sensitive and some sort of create my own story. like. oh my god. that person find me irritating?. that person dunwan to stay near me?. when there is no such thing at all (i hope so) i dun dare to do so much anymore. i will just keep it to myself.

haiz..confuse.

2004-10-06T01:12:00.000+08:00

haiz..confuse..confuse..confuse over something. argh...i really dun know..zzzz.i just started studying the 1st chapter out of the 11 chapters on physics. zzzz..tiring..i am waiting for the last day of examination!..so tat i can sleep whole day liaox.hehex. but i haven even work hard den want sleep liaox. really hopeless.lolx.i sleep the whole afternoon 2day.den end up very slack and dun wish to study.haha.i am so lazy. but if i still dunwan study den really no time liaox. argh. dun know la. confuse over something..hope to get my answer soon. aiya..just let things be nature la. dunwan care so much. zzzz. -to be continue-

tired.

2004-10-04T23:05:00.000+08:00

zzz..y display pic cannot be shown sia.think got something wrong with my blog.2day is chinese paper.paper 1 i've made some mistake.think cannot get the result i want.paper 2 is alrighty.tml is english paper.haven really start reading.lolx.lazy again.haiz.i've just plan out the time table of revising for end yr exam.which i think the time is rather tight.so i will not come online so often at this period of time le.haiz.feel rather hopeless over something.2day say pledge.my fren say i say the pledge like going to die like tat...jialat.so i gtg and read my english and study on 4 chapters of physics now liao..now 11.05pm liao.wonder how "early" i will slping later.zzzz

getting.stress.

2004-10-03T16:33:00.000+08:00

zzzz....left 4 more chapters to study for my chinese..very tired.

very slow.

2004-10-03T09:29:00.000+08:00

i realise the way i am revising is very slow.from yesterday until now i've only studied 3 chapters of my chinese.left 6 more chapters to go.and tml is the exam.forget it.do my best.hm.nth happen recently.now just have to concentrate on study.haha.woO.time files.i still remember the first day i reported to school when i was sec 1.lolx.and so many things actually happened.good and bad times.but just let it be.i cherish now.what has past just let it past.tml chinese paper!..hehe..finally!..i promise to get 90++.and i must get it. =)

finally!

2004-10-02T07:43:00.000+08:00

i've finally forgot every single thing about the past.the unhapiness i had.and the unhappiness i brought to you.i am really sorry.just continue to ignore me kkiez?..in this way i won feel i owe you anything.i cant believe i had slept for 12 hours.yesterday i had a evening nap at 4pm and who knows.i end up waking up at 3.30am.zzz.didn had my dinner.lolx.haiz.dun quite like my character nowadays.i didn know how to react to things out of a sudden.i am afraid i would lose a friend again.a friend who is very important to me.suddenly turn to be ignoring me.isnt it a nightmare?..i cant let this happen again.i have to cherish everyone no matter if the person like me or not.but this makes me very tired.i dun know what can i do in order not to lose a friend.i dun dare to step ahead anymore.i dun know what to say to my friends.i can just be as quiet in a conversation unless it is someone very close to me.this month taking pledge ne.i have to do my best for it.hope i can cope well on exam and on pledge taking.2day whole day must study for chinese le.monday is chinese paper 1 and 2.yupz.thanx jiex for your comment~ -to be continue- *score throat* aHeem.. =P

day by day.bad to worse.

2004-09-29T22:02:00.000+08:00

zzzz.my tv going to spoil again.no colour liao.only black and white sia.den my computer no sound again.what's the problem sia.my beloved hamsters.xiao hei and xiao bai look so tired lehz.long time nv play with them liao.exam coming very very soon.after writting this i go study le.siao liao.D&T test on 16 chapters sia.den physics test on 11 chapters.den tml still got physics class test.really tiring sia.2day my maths teacher give us do the revision paper.den i almost all dont know how to do.beginning to understand abit.but still cannot make it ar.nvm.i will do my best.argh.i want back my colour television.i dunwan black and white.and my computer.i want sound!.zzzz.hope everything will recover soon. -to be continue- >-<

how different will things change?

2004-09-29T01:04:00.000+08:00

my television just send back on 27 sept. finally can watch tv le. very happy. argh. i just found out that i have not really revise although i had finally done all the eng hw and has been sumited. exam is coming!. haha. i am very excited. after exam i have all my time to do whatever i want. now is 1.04 am. and i still haven sleep. tml no nid wake up go sch le. 2nite bro not returning home.stupid.so far until now.things is still the same.the one i had been waiting for.won talk to me.won reply me.kind of sad.if i leave.maybe you will feel much more happy.so i leave you alone from now. wishing u will be more happy after that. i dun wanna see you being fed up,being bad mood,being angry,being annoyed by me anymore.that's why i leave you alone.i wonder how different would it be when i meet you again.i hope we are still friends.i hope we will still talk to each other.i hope things will not change too much.

finally.start.doing.my.homework.

2004-09-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

argh!!!..i am finally holding a pen in my hand doing my homework le!..not easy lehz..next i am going to study for exam.i shouldn touch the keyboard at the first place.now i cant bear to leave the computer again.how to study like that sia!..*sianz* i promise myself to study le. [forcing myself to leave the computer] haha.lame.cham sia.2day i read article.all eng words chim chim i dun understand one.cannot sit there dun do anything liao.i just asked my mother to buy me a oxford dictionary.so i can search for words i dun understand lo.like tat at least got hope go exam and for my next yr n level.if eng fail.very hard to survive ar.now moe say chinese fail oso nvm..wah lao eh..not fair.i pass my chinese leh..den y moe dun say eng fail oso nvm sia..zzzzz..stupid.argh.time's up le.*go study* -to be continue- (+_+)

chinatown.

2004-09-25T23:15:00.000+08:00

just came back from chinatown.went shopping with my mother and aunt.haha.there got decoration of lantan festival day.very nice.the lantan all big big one.den got alot of dragons.haha.first time go to chinatown sia.zzzz.haiz.2day forget to pass up my english as i haven finish lehz.sianz.2day date due sia.die.argh.exam coming liao.haven even start revise.jialat.haiz.have i really lost something.i really hope to get it back.but why i cant.sadded.

zzzzzz...

2004-09-24T18:55:00.000+08:00

went to orchard with jessica just now.rather tired but relaxing.my computer finally going to finish reformating le.dun need use my brother lap top soon le.i've been waiting for months.and television are finally going to be taken back from the repair man soon le.haha.i haven watch tv for ages le.no wonder nowadays my life so boring.haha.irc is just like dead man channel.everyone is too busy to chat.my ankle just recover.all thanks to my father.he help me rub my ankle so hard last time until i cried.zzzzz.haha.2day went to orchard.see alot of nice shirt and skirt which i like alot.wish to buy but no money.haiz.always like that one.jessica oso sianz diao.coz she oso no money buy.haha.den we can only see cannot touch lo.pathetic -.- so final yr exam coming in a week time.i got to study real hard le.zzzz.tired. -to be continue-

it will turn better right?

2004-09-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

final yr exam are coming.just cant make myself to study.very tired.i hope things will turn better after some time.the usual me seems to be lost.i cant find back myself.but i will tried my best to.restless.that's how i describe myself now.sprain ankle.maybe its a way to release my pain.just hope my ankle will recover soon.i miss band.i miss those practices.band seems to be dropping and getting worse.with so much problems araising.i hope things will turn out fine.heard from serene that 2day there is a band briefing in the morning as 2day i nv go sch because of my ankle.she said that those who signed the petition will get into deep trouble.i've nv come across such a petition.i heard that it started with the sec 1s.the petition is about band members who dont want ms ong as teacher in charge of band.i dont really know what is going on.but i know there are alot of members not happy with what ms ong ordered.including myself.i dont know in what ways.but i think we shouldn create more prob to the band.as our band now is like.hopeless.if we have to bring up the band again.we must solve these problems.but not create more problems.a petition like this is something extra added to the band.its a problem which need to be solve.which need time.but i think after whatever problem has been solve.the band will become a better want.since this petition has started.i think we should talk to the band teachers what we are not happy about.and try to talk things out in a respectful manner.i am sure these problems can be solve.i believe one day DMB will come alive again.jus wait.

i will always remember.

2004-09-21T22:03:00.000+08:00

i will always remember..what you said to me before.once you stay up all night feared that you couldn get up in the morning to give me msg to support me for saying pladge.i am really very touch.i still remember.you told me that you run all the way to the kitchen taking water for yourself and run back to our conversation online for your mother thought you've gone crazy running all ard.it was really funny.i remember having lunch together.i couldn finish up the meal.you said its just full enough just by looking at you.the day we search everywhere for movie but couldn get to watch.i dun know how you feel.but i really enjoy alot.i know i've made you stress.i've made you unhappy,i've made you fed up and angry.the first time you got angry.i called you several times,but you just won answer my call.i am very scared.i called and msg until you replied.from that day on.i've continuously made you unhappy.i am sorry.but for all that i do.i am scared of losing you.i am stubborn,sensitive..but..i am really afraid..the more i do..the worse it become.now we've seldom talk.i asked you for lunch.but it was rejected.you've dislike me.but i couldn forget.couldn forget how we use to be..its just a dream? have i woke up? if this is a dream.i wish to be asleep forever.

if i can return...

2004-09-20T20:02:00.000+08:00

hope time can return..so that i will know what can i do..i will cherish every moment if i can return..i will remember..i am not irritating..i won be stubborn..if i can return..i will trust whatever you say..if i can return..but now..i've made you dislike me more..for whatever i tried to do..it would become worst in the end..i regret..

waiting..

2004-09-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

seems to be waiting days and nights. waiting for something important. but..no matter how hard i wait. how long i wait. that moment won repeat anymore. just for that moment. just like before. its gone forever? i dun believe. i will still be waiting here..
-18.Sept.2004-

Band, Band, and Band.

2004-09-18T13:00:00.000+08:00

woO~ firz thing i wake up, i've been sitting in front of my computer until now..haven brush teeth..haven eat breakfast..and now its 1pm. zzz. Yesterday night i went to Sp band concert. It was such a great performance. Their trumpet player!..oh my god!..they play like as though there is only one trumpeter!..and their tuning was so in tune that i could hardly hear the "wao wao~" sound. Sp band play nice music! Talking of band concert, this yr there won be any dunearnite. Yr 2004 is different, there r only performances outdoor, but it was not bad either, at least we still get to perform. Missing those practices that we had in yr 2003 during december practising for the esplanade performance, it was such a tiring but fun practices. Hope next yr there will be dunearnite. =D Yesterday our batch (sec 3s) were having a so called "re-interview" with the band teachers, the teachers want to re-post us, as they were not satisfied with our current post. I've really got to improve on my trumpet, our section now is like, only one person covering the whole trumpet section, and that is justin. I felt hopeless, play trumpet for 3 yrs and i've show no improvement at all. I am too lazy, lazy to improve. This cannot be the way, i should practice more on my trumpet and improve more. To train every trumpet player, to be serious. So that the trumpet section have got more power, and every trumpeter can play together to produce beautiful music! I've got to reach that aim! No more slacking.
-8.Sep.2004-

+My way of living+

Dunearn Military Band--GOLD! [we made it!]

singapore conference hall-syf soundcheck.

i am backie~

absend again.

bad day.

was i wrong?

exam coming soon in one week time. -.-

small action means alot to me. becoz of tat. i lose you.

why at the last moment. i had to cry because of you again.

just back from chalet.

Chinese new yr. so fast ended...

chinese new yr reunion dinner.

what a tiring day...

tired.

haha. juz another day has pass.

argh! jialat arR!

my new doggie. milo!~

just myself.

just let it be.

jeanette aw xuan!

tired..

correction...

why are my family like that?

haiz. still got what hw not done sia?

gross.

all in one dreamz.

i've got a surprize yesterday. =D

happy!~

any nice hair style?

haiz.

haiz. i am sorry. but its too late.

ending of my friendship. say goodbye.

what's going on?

bugis and orchard. legs very tired. merry christmas eve~

pizza.with.fellow.perfects.(or maybe acarde too?) =D

merry christmas~

haa.

gosh! its so scary!

haiz. is this a good dream or a bad dream?

zzzzzzzzz

another band hw......about balance. *sigh*

band outing to sentosa!~

different style of band practice.

maybe i shouldn talk so much.

Angelo Chinese ( Independent ) exchange programme.

nyp band practice.

nyp tune in

why i always fail to be what i want to be?

just back from watching movie.

just realise. i really got to be strong. and stop all the nonsense i had done so long.

happy to see you again 2day.

there was once. but not anymore.

its too late for sure. nvm. i wont force. =)

artivity night cum the day i realise you.but its too late.

i am dying soon.

fever..abit only la. haha

juz be fine.

ai le. tong le. ku le.

what can i say when i am sensitive?

result..haiz.

i thought i have forgotten.

this i promise myself.

a loner story.

my beloved hamster is back! xiao hei!

exam finally finish.but still cant rest in peace.

Ending soon!!! 3 more subjects to go! Kambate! =D

its the beginning to stress.

haiz. sorry.

my chinese result. disappointed in paper 1.

dun dare anymore.

haiz..confuse.

tired.

getting.stress.

very slow.

finally!

day by day.bad to worse.

how different will things change?

finally.start.doing.my.homework.

chinatown.

another band hw......about balance. sigh